Tubes and Hearing!

We went to the Ear/Nose/Throat specialist on Wednesday and "A's" hearing was tested by first the doctor, then an Audiologist. They decided that it was bad enough, with his current complaints of ear pressure/pain, that he needed immediate surgery. On Friday morning at 5am, I loaded his little pajama-bottomed butt into the car and took him to the hospital. He was in sugery for about 30 minutes...then in recovery for an hour. On the way home, the change in him was extremely evident. I could talk in a NORMAL voice with him for the first time, without facing him so he could read my lips! I spoke to him quietly and asked if we should grab some ice cream...and he heard every syllable! It's an amazing transformation. I can't believe that in 5 years, nobody else noticed this or did anything about it!
I will miss some things about his lack of hearing though. Last week, when I was feeding the finches on my porch, he said, "I sure like those little birds, but I'm not allowed to say their name." HE thought they were called "bitches"!!! The boy sings like a little angel. He can really carry a tune...but he always sang the wrong words, because he couldn't hear them! No more cheap entertainment for me!!!
He was SUCH a trooper at the hospital. I'm so very proud of him!

I met with "The Teachers" for Savannah. ONE of them is a very good, very caring teacher. The others....well....better to just shut up. It's no wonder that she doesn't do the work. How can you be motivated by a slug??? Seriously, doesn't God GIVE them a personality????

Okay...I'm exhausted and going to bed now. Night!

Answers & Hope

Over the past month I have noticed that "A" often doesn't seem to hear us. I mentioned this to the caseworker, who okayed taking him to the doctor. Well, today we discovered that he only has 30% hearing in both ears. He is profoundly deaf. I suspected that it was bad...but not this bad! The good news, is that it's caused from fluid build-up and we can cure it with tubes placed in his ears. He will go to an Ear, Nose, Throat specialist on the 29th and we will create a plan of action. I can't wait until he can hear! I'm sure that many of his "behavioral issues" are caused from his lack of hearing.
This week was pretty good, except for Tuesday, when he was supposed to visit his grandmother and she forgot. He was really upset. I had an appointment scheduled and when I called her, she said that she wasn't even dressed. I told her that not coming for him was NOT an option. I dropped him at the DHS office in the playroom and told her to pick him up there! I like her and I know that he loves her dearly, but that is just not fair to him.
His sisters are struggling with all of the separations and new foster homes, but they seem to be thriving and learning to be little kids again. It's so heartbreaking to see them all hurting. When we have visits, his sisters all cling to me, hugging and loving on me, begging for attention and love. Part of me has to wonder why God allows this kind of pain for children. How can they ever understand that any good came from it? *SIGH*

Savannah has been missing way too much school because she was sick, so I have a meeting with all of her teachers on Monday. Wheeee...that oughta' be loads of fun.:(

Cheyenne turns 21 on May 7th. It's so hard to believe that my baby is that old...and "legally" an adult now! It seems like just yesterday when she was toddling around learning how to walk and talk!
I do have to say though, that if we end up with our little guy, I think I'll be done raising kids. I wanted a boy...so if we get to keep him, I'll be happy! If not...then who knows? We just have to wait and see.

Well...it's off to bed for me.
Night!

Long Days With a Small Boy

Wednesdays really suck. Every time we have a visit, we go through about 2 days of hell afterwards. I wonder what things go on in a child's mind that cause them to act out so much.
I get so upset and frustrated, because "A" has such a burden that he carries. First of all, he believes that he cannot go home because he is bad. This idea is reinforced by his bio family when they tell him that "when he learns to be good", he can come home.
Secondly, he believes that he is the "big brother" and he has to take care of his 4 sisters.
He feels responsible for them and often tells me that he needs to take care of them.

All I can do is love this child SO much. I try to love him enough to counteract all of the negative stuff. I tell him what a great kid he is and how much I love him:)

He is currently driving me crazy because he doesn't hear well at all...and we are always repeating or shouting. I am making him an appointment to get his ears checked. It seems weird, but by the end of a day with him, I am SO sick of repeating myslef that I could just scream! It's exhausting.

Tomorrow, I have to go into town and pick up the new piglets so we'll have meat this year! Mmmmmm....home raised pork is SO good. I hate raising the pigs...but I do love the meat!

I'm going to the coast to teach a class on Saturday, then driving up to Newport to visit my mom. I'm excited. I don't get to see her enough.

Lisanne

Rescuing Everything.

I think that I have spent my whole life rescuing. Even when I was a kid, every stray found it's way to my house.
I brought home baby possums. raccoons, cats, dogs, birds...you name it! My parents always groaned about it,
but they knew that it wouldn't stop me! I don't know why I feel such a responsibility to "save the world", but it's such a part of my make-up that I can't understand how most of society can turn a blind eye to the suffering that I find so often. How does
one walk away, rather than reaching out and helping? I seriously CAN'T. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "Lisanne, you can't save the world!", but that doesn't come to mind when I see a cat, dog, horse, child, etc...starving to death, or dying from abuse. I just act. I just DO.
There are times when my heart breaks from it and I feel like I can't ever do it again...and then another poor soul comes along and
there I go again. Just doing.
It is both a part of me that I love, and I hate. There are times that I wish I could walk away and feel no responsibility, no guilt, no shame. But that isn't me. I'm the one who will stop traffic to remove a dying animal from the street. I'm the one who will risk getting bitten to keep a wounded animal from suffering. I'm the one who will allow my heart to break over and over again just to ease their pain and make their lives better, if even for a short time.
If I look back on all of the creatures, both animal and human that I've "rescued", I can honestly say that although it's painful (and exhausting!) at times, those rescues have enriched my life and touched me so very, very much. I really should have been a Vet!
(By the way, did I tell you all about the young "Osprey" that I "rescued" after it flew into my car last Summer? Well, as it turned out, he died...but I took some pictures of him and was very excited to tell my husband about him. You should have heard him laugh when he told me that my "Osprey" was a Buzzard!!!)
Yes, I'll rescue ANYTHING!

Failure

Well, I gave up and took the kitty to the local Humane Society today. They promised to take good care of her and keep me posted. I felt terrible, but I've come down with a virus, and her fur was making my asthma act up. I just couldn't work on her anymore and she needed immediate help.
I can't help but feel like I've failed her. I just hope that she's in good enough shape to rehab and adopt. Her heart was beating too fast and she had a snotty nose...so their vet was concerned. I signed a form saying that they have to call me before they decide to euthanize her.

On a good note, "A" has had a couple of really good days. He is SUCH a cutie!

Wow...What a Week.

Another crazy week down. I'm just exhausted. This week, I have intentionally NOT scheduled any classes. I need some time off.
Today, I rescued a kitty. She (?) is a purebred silver Persian. I have never seen such a terrible case of abuse and neglect. This poor cat has more mats than cat. Her matted fur is at LEAST 4 inches thick all over her body. As I started cutting mats away, I have found sores on her skin. It's going to take me days to clean her up. She is covered in feces and smells so bad I want to puke. This is seriously criminal. I am trying to get my camera to work so I can post pictures of her. ("A" broke it.)
I found this kitty at a vacant house that I showed some clients today. She is one of about 8 cats that have been abandoned. I will call animal control on Monday. I fed them all today and took the Persian, who was by far in the most need of immediate help. I may have to give up and take her to a vet this week to get help with the dematting. She is clearly in a lot of pain and it hurts her. How do these things always find ME????
"A" had an ear infection and a sore throat this week, so he missed his weekly visitation. Consequently, it was a pretty good week! He is SUCH a cute kid. I just love him so much.
Well, I'm going to bed early tonight. (Ha! it's 1:00am!)

Night!

We Had SUN!!!

It was a beautiful, sunny, WARM day today and I enjoyed it so much. I slept in as long as I was allowed, cleaned house for a few, then went outside to enjoy the sunshine:)
We brought out the fire pit and had a bonfire, roasted hot dogs and marshmallows and played catch! (although I pulled the muscle in my shoulder throwing the ball.)
The girls rode horses a lot today and "A" played with the little neighbor girl for a while. (Until he hauled off and whacked her with a stick.) Playing with other children is not his forte'!)
It was a nice day, but I'm still really tired and just need to get some things off of my plate. I talked to my husband today, and I am going to put my real estate license on inactive status for a while. I'll turn my listings over to my company, so I'll still receive a referral fee if they sell.

Tomorrow is drill team night. I can't wait. I absolutely love drill team!
Night:)

Tough Times

It's been some time since my last post. I'm exhausted...and emotional...and a bit overwhelmed.

For a start, I chose to send Sweet Dan back to his owner, I liked him, but we just weren't "clicking". I found another little horse (pony) that is going to work really well. His name is Skeeter and he's a POA. While this all sounds okay, it's just VERY stressful.
I am teaching at least 2 Oregon classes per week, (sometimes 3) and a Utah/Oregon on the weekends. I also have real estate stuff going on and I'd really like to put it on hold.

My little man is a constant source of both pure joy, and frustration. Life would be better for him if his mother would get her life straight, They say very inappropriate things to him at their weekly visits. I have became very protective of him!

I feel like I can barely keep up. I really need to sleep.
Well...I took an extra large sleeping pill tonight. See you tomorrow!

A New Dog

Well, we have a new dog today. As soon as I get my new computer (tomorrow) I'll post pictures.
She's cute...but certainly not beautiful. She has a very long nose! Her body looks like a small Lab, but she has the head of...maybe a Dachsund? She has 4 white feet and white on her chest. They told us that she is Lab/Border Collie. Personally, I would MUCH rather have had a Mastiff, but this is NOT my dog. For the record, I was OPPOSED to another dog, but little miss Mackie has her daddy so tightly wrapped around her little finger that she can manipulate him into ANYTHING if she wants it badly enough!
"Sissy" is here on a 3 day trial basis, so we'll see how it goes. The Boxer, (Captain Morgan) fell in love with her and they became instant friends.

"A" did very well today. Tomorrow is a visitation day, so we'll see how that all goes. (sigh)

That's all for tonight. I have a big day tomorrow and need to get some sleep.

March 23rd, 2009

I sure love this child. He still has his moments, but all in all, he's just a neat little boy who has suffered greatly and needlessly at the hands of adults who should have never had children.
We went shopping on Saturday and Tosh bought him some Carharts. He told him that when you have your Carharts on, you aren't allowed to cry! He's SO cute in them and he just loves to wear them. He told me that he wanted to wear the pants that he couldn't cry in! ;) When he fell and started to cry, I reminded him that he had his Carharts on and it was an immediate fix!
He adores "his" horse and wants some boots and a hat...and he reminds me every day.

I think that our biggest problem has actually been in getting our own daughters to embrace him. They were all on board and excited about having him until he got here and they found out how difficult it was. McKenna is quite jealous and has made it no secret. We are trying to give her time to adjust and make sure that we pay attention to her as well, but it's a big change for her and it wont come easily. Savannah has taken on a more responsible role and she is actually (usually) very good with him. One positive thing that I've noticed is that the girls aren't fighting NEAR as much with each other now! This is good. I think that they really just need time to get used to things. I remember how hard it was for me at 10 when my sister came to stay with us for the Summer. I loved her, but I was very jealous and hurt that my parents paid so much attention to her, when I got so little. I want to make sure that my kids don't get hurt, but I also want them to learn to share...and appreciate what they have. This isn't going to be easy.

My computer is toast. It's funny, because I have been complaining so much about it not charging that my husband finally gave me the "go ahead" to buy a new laptop. I ordered it last night.
Today, his dumb Boxer dog stomped on my computer and ruined the screen. I'll have to use an external monitor to get my stuff off of it, but I'm SO thankful that my new one will be here Wednesday! It's a Compaq Presario. I hope its a good one. It had rave reviews.

Hmmm..let's see. McKenna talked her dad into a new dog. We're going to look at a "nice little dog" tomorrow, but I'm not thrilled. We do NOT NEED five dogs!
Well, that's it for now. I wish I could just report that we will get to keep "A", but I know better than to get my hopes up.

Lis

My Little Cowboy!

The days just continue to get better. "A" is finding his way and starting to understand how things work around here. He earned all of his stickers today and an extra one because he was SO good! He loves his new school and gets along quite well. He's a very smart little guy.:)
Today, when I went to meet his bus, I found two of my horses in my neighbor's pasture. They had apparently decided to go for a walk...so the neighbor caught them for me. "A" has been wanting to ride "his horse", so as I walked the horse home, I put A on his back. It was his first horse ride ever and he LOVED it! He told me, "Now I'm a REAL cowboy and I need some boots and a hat."!!! What a cutie.
I'm trying really hard not to get too attached...but this is never going to be easy. I'm beginning to discover that many of his behaviors are just "boy things" and I'm not used to that.
We've had him one week today...and I adore him. I'm already praying that we never have to give him back.
I met his entire family yesterday when he went for a visit. I don't think I was really supposed to, but we all got there at the same time and it just kind of happened. It was mildly uncomfortable, but I held my own and I was friendly and respectful in order to put them all at ease and not make things any harder on our little man. They have a real history of negative manipulation with him and the other kids in care, so I want them to feel as good about me as possible in order to protect him. All in all, it's going pretty well.

In other news, McKenna talked her daddy into a new dog, so we are looking for the right dog to join our farm. (JUST what we need!) It's a good thing we HAVE a farm!
Did I tell you that Roxie came up lame and I had to get a new drill horse? Well, if I didn't...now you know. The new horse's name is Dan. He's white...and "A" has claimed him. I don't mind. Right now, he's on lease for the Summer and we'll see how it goes. He's not in great shape yet...hadn't been ridden in a year, so drill is really hard on him. Drill night is exhausting for me because I feel like I'm "beating a dead horse"!!! I REALLY miss Roxie.:( She will get better, but has to have several months off to heal.

I got my Utah Instructor's license and will now start teaching the Utah CHL class. I'm excited because it means a significant amount of money coming in! We need it right now. (sigh)

Thanks for the prayers...they're working!

Uggghhhh....

It was another long, tough day. Several tantrums, several time-outs, only one sticker...and thank God he was tired and went to bed early!!! I think my daughters are the most stressed out over it.

A Good Day.

Our little man woke up today with a new attitude...for now!
He got up and went to work with Dad, which seems to have been a wonderful thing.
He really NEEDS a good man's influence. He came home greasy and happy and announced that he was going to get ALL of his stickers today! (He has a sticker chart.)
He giggled and played all day, and he helped to make cookies, (and eat them!) and was super happy when he got EXTRA stickers tonight.
I think that there are going to be good days...and bad days. I'm glad that today was a good one. After yesterday, I think we all really needed it. McKenna ran away to a friend's house this afternoon...Lol! Poor kid.
It's impossible to look at this little boy and not just love him. How can people hurt a child like him so badly? How/why does this happen? I see his little face and hear his infectious, happy giggles and I cannot help but wrap my arms around him in a genuine, loving hug.
I think God knows a sucker when he sees one!

ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

Oh. My. God.
WHAT was I thinking??? I am SO tired today.
This little boy has more energy than 10 girls. He also has a long way to go in learning
to mind...learning NOT to have tantrums in the store, and learning not to use the word "hate" in every other sentence. It was a LONNNNNG day!
It's okay, and I'm really, truly not regretting doing this....but I think the first couple of weeks are going to be pretty rough. It going to take some time for all of us to get used to things.
One big issue is that he doesn't deal with pain well AT ALL. Even the slightest "ouchie" and he goes into a MAJOR screaming fit. It was rather embarrassing at the park today!
He's still pretty darned cute though and it's impossible to be mad at him:)
He got up before all of us and used the phone to call his grandmother, so tonight we are removing the phones. His caseworker has said that there will be no more calls this week. It's going to be hard for him. This is so challenging..and heartbreaking.
I have to share what he JUST did! He is lying on the couch so he can fall asleep and he wanted Savannah to sit with him. She snuggled all down and he let out a big 'ol fart!!! She yelled and he started giggling so hard that he almost fell off the couch! What IS it with boys and farts????

Good "Mom news" tonight! She had her ultrasound this morning and the doctor was WRONG.
There was NO aortic aneurysm. Thank you God. I'm so relieved.

Amazing Day!!!

Wow! It was a crazy and absolutely emotional, amazing day.
At 3:30 today, I drove to town and met my new son! Because we have to maintain
his anonymity at this time, I will Simply refer to him as "A".
He is an incredibly cute, smart little boy. We already adore him, but we do see that
he's going to keep us very busy! He was pretty confused and a little scared today, but settled
in fairly well considering. He has been living with his grandmother for the past year, but
I believe this placement was mandated by DHS. His paperwork stated that there is a plan
for reunification with his birth mother, with adoption as a secondary option.
His caseworker is super sweet. She followed us home today and brought all of his things to help
him get settled in. I really like her. She is very "genuine", which is refreshing.
She did give me the impression that she doesn't expect his birth mother to shape up. I guess that Grandma is okay, and A wanted to call her tonight, so we did. She thanked me over and over. It was a little tough when A first got here and he told me that his grandma had told him that he wasn't allowed to call me "Mom". That hurt a little...but I can understand it.
He did call me Mom towards the end of the night, but I could tell that he was really worried about it. I'll have to talk with the caseworker and see what she thinks.
He was pretty nervous at bedtime, so we allowed him to come out and lie on the couch...and he promptly fell asleep. He was SOOOO cute!
We're all very excited...and exhausted!

I spoke with my step-dad today and he doesn't seem to be worried about my mom. I think I'll reserve my non-worrying until I hear what the doctors say.

March 11th, 2009

Quite an eneventful day, for the most part.
I did clean out my car...which I must say, I think I deserve a reward and my children deserve a beating for! Gack...what a mess!
I wonder if ALL kids spill and dump stuff in their mother's cars and then hide it? The only way I discover it is when my car starts smelling like something died in it. WHY am I wanting another child again???
My new horse is settling in quite nicely. He's a real cutie! Oh...maybe I haven't mentioned him yet. Well, you see, Roxie came up lame during drill practice a few times, so I took her in for x-rays and an ultrasound. She has a bone spur in her hock that causes her flexor tendon to become inflamed. We can treat it easily, but she has to have a few months off to heal. Since I ride on a drill team and have a committment to my team, I HAD to have a horse that I can ride!
I found a great home for Big Jay, the rescue that I have been rehabbing, and made room for a new horse. Enter Dan. He's white, bombproof, a finished roping and drill horse and a major love-bug! He is just a little lazy, but I think he'll get better with regular riding.

We are bringing our new little foster son home tomorrow! I'm super excited...and a bit nervous too. Tosh and I went out and bought all kinds of trucks and army men and boy toys. We haven't ever had a boy, so this will be interesting!

No news about my mom yet. I'll post and let you all know as soon as I have any information.
We were very lucky to have found this thing early so we can get it taken care of. I'm just so grateful.

March 10th, 2009

Well, things have been a whirlwind! We finally came to the realization that we were not going to be allowed to have Robbie, no matter what we do. We are having to come to terms with that. The DHS workers have blackballed us and there is no way that they will allow us to have him.
Thanks God that's in Washington!

Meanwhile, Tosh and I had decided that we weren't going to work with OSLC anymore, because we ultimately want to adopt a child, and OSLC is more about rehabbing & returning. We had decided to change to DHS where we would have to take more classes, but we would have a good chance at finding the perfect kid(s) for us. THEN...last week they called me about Alex. He's
five years old and has been through hellish abuse and neglect. After a short discussion, we decided that we really want him! There is a slight chance that we can adopt him too, but we'll take it one thing at a time! I pick Alex up on Thursday. I'm excited, but nervous.

In other news, my mother let me know that she has been diagnosed with an aortic aneurysm. She is going to have it looked at this week. I'm scared. Those are nasty.:(

Lisanne

January 6th, 2009

I'm tired.
I had drill team tonight and it didn't go as well as usual. Roxie came up lame about 3/4 of the way through. I thought something was bothering her...and then someone told me that she was limping. I took her out immediately. Also, as I was standing next to her watching the others complete drill, I found lice nits on her neck. Damn. The big gelding that I brought home was covered with them last week and I have treated both him and Ace, but I thought the mares were okay. Now I have to treat them too. I'm so bummed.
To add insult to injury, my diverticulitis has flared up again tonight and I'm in pain. This is a terrible disease. I have 3 classes to teach this week, so I can't let this get me! I'm so frustrated.

We are hoping to review some more kid's profiles this week for fostering. The one that we got wasn't a child who would fit into our family, so we have to wait until one comes along. Meanwhile, the adoption proceedings for my little cousin are continuing. It's going to be an eventful year.
The girls went back to school today...yay! I love them, but I also love having quiet days to myself occasionally!
Okay, I'm off to bed.
Night!

Januauary 3rd, 2009

We got up early today and went into T's shop to work on my horse trailer. We packed the bearings, cleaned everything up, washed and waxed it....and then Tosh installed the new power jack, a fire extinguisher and a nice first aid kit:) He fixed all of the lights on my trailer too. It looks wonderful!
While we were out, we bombed the entire house for fleas. It's freezing outside, and yet our stupid dogs still have fleas! We could only deduce that they are still living in the house...so we blasted the heck outa' the little buggers! Tomorrow I'm going to spend a little time cleaning stalls, finishing a couple of things on my trailer, and then I'm going over to Linda's house and play with Freisian horses! She has 5 of them living there now and 3 of them are rideable! I can't WAIT. I have always wanted to ride one.
Well, it's time to feed horses and get to bed so I'm ready for my big day tomorrow!

January 1st, 2009

Happy New Year!!!

Well, here it is, a new year already. It seems like 2008 went by so quickly.
We have finished our certification process for becoming foster parents and are just awaiting
our first child. Meanwhile, we have applied to adopt my 4 year old cousin as well...and just yesterday, we received a call asking if we might be interested in fostering a cousin's baby who is just under a year old. Good grief! Just when we thought we were done raising kids....
I think this was God's plan for me all along though. I feel MUCH more capable of being a great mom now than I did when I had my own kids! I know I was always a good mom, but I'm more confident in my abilities now:)
I'm excited for the opportunity to make a difference in some children's lives. Tosh and I have done very well with our daughters. We have a lot to give children. A great home, a lot of love, stability, a good life.

On another note, I'm going to Utah next month to take the Utah Instructor's course to teach the Utah CHL. I'll be able to make a lot more money once I get that. I feel like real estate is beginning to get a "little" bit better too, which is good. I have a couple of new clients to work with:) I have missed the business while the economy has been bad. I absolutely LOVE working in real estate! Meanwhile, I have my firearms classes to keep us afloat.

Well, it's time to head for bed.
G'night!